Rocco’s Godmother, Claudia:

Rocco White was the 4^th baby of my best friend, Samya, and my godson. He was an identical twin with Winston and has an older brother, Otis, and sister, Mila, who were 3 and 5 when Rocco died suddenly on 11^th December 2018, aged 6.5 months. He was the most perfect delicious squidge and such a content baby. He had a little mole on the back of his neck, which is how we could tell the boys apart, and how I knew he was “my one”.

Rocco’s mum, Samya:

Losing Rocco had a huge impact on us as a family. Our other children were so young at the time, so it was hard to know how they were feeling, and I focused my attention pretty much entirely on helping them navigate through it. My main goal was to ensure that they were not negatively impacted and that they would still have a strong and supportive mother to lean on. As I started working through things in therapy, I realised that I needed to spend more time hearing how they were feeling and try to sit in the grief with them. This was so hard as I had spent so long trying to avoid it and go through the motions. When Covid hit shortly after, it was just me and the kids trying to get through each day. It was really hard to watch Winston grow and do things alone without his twin brother. It has always been a fear of mine that he would forever feel like something was missing and that he would be sad. That was really difficult in the beginning and still is today, but I try not to project my own fears onto him because the majority of the time he is doing just fine.

Claudia, Rocco’s Godmother, introduced me to Winston’s Wish. It was so relatable to my situation, having 3 young children, including Rocco’s identical twin, Winston, to navigate through grief, and the fact the charity was called Winston’s Wish made it even more special.

We were looking at ways to continue to do good for Rocco. When we came across this charity supporting bereaved children and saw its name, it was so fitting. We had to support it. For Winston and for Rocco.

 

Samya

Mila, Otis, and Winston were so young when we lost Rocco that it was hard for them to process. On the day he died, Mila asked me, when I came home from the hospital, if Rocco was back. I was still in shock but I had to tell my 5 year old that her baby brother was an angel now. The next day she drew a picture of our family with Rocco as an angel.

We’ve been lucky enough to have the resources to help the kids with therapy, which we started straight away after Rocco died. That was a huge support and everyone in our family still engages in therapy in one way or another.

Winston is always open to hearing about his twin and will randomly ask me, “how did Rocco die again?” just as I’m putting him in the bath or making dinner. He also is very protective of him and refers to him as his twin rather than just his brother. He said that if Rocco was still here he would want him to sleep in the same bed as him.

Otis finds it hard to talk about still. If I’m reading a book to Winny about Rocco or looking at pictures of them Otis often can’t stay in the room. He just finds it too sad. But we don’t stop talking about him in front of him. All of the kids have pictures of Rocco in their room.

About a month ago, Mila came up to me and said, “I’m feeling sad about Rocco.” That was the first time since he died that she ever initiated a conversation about her brother. My own therapy has meant that I’ve been looking at some of his things and I found the picture she drew of him as an angel. It was that that led her to want to talk about him. We looked at photos, read stories, and looked through all the boxes I have with things that belonged to him. I was so proud of her. She said she felt more confident to ask – I think she meant she was starting to feel ok with feeling sad about it. I haven’t seen her want to do that in the last 6 years. It helped me a lot to have her there to support me. It was a really nice moment.

We fundraise for Winston’s Wish every year. We have done sponsored runs and bike rides and always ask for donations on the anniversary of his death.

 

Samya

We relate so much to the charity and recognise how important their work is. We have received so much support from our community and we want to help others to have the same.

We have always wanted to shine a light at Christmas from Rocco. At his funeral, one of the songs we sang was, ‘This Little Light of Mine’. Each year at Christmas we try to help other children because we can’t buy Rocco a gift, as much as we desperately wish we could. So we look for ways for Rocco to make other children have a happier Christmas. The ‘Colour their Christmas’ campaign felt like Rocco’s light would be felt, and light up Christmas for children facing a very difficult time.

We celebrate him every single year on his birthday. We meet up with friends and blow out candles for him on a cake. We always have a theme where we ask our friends and family to show him some love. One year, we asked everyone to make a cake, another we asked for everyone to do an act of kindness in his honour, and another year we did “rocks for Rocco” where we asked everyone to paint rocks with messages on and hide them in places for people to find.

This year, on his birthday, our friends hosted a concert in his honour. They organised a number of singers and musicians together from our local secondary school to raise money for Winston’s Wish and even some of my old school teachers attended.

We even have a giant mural on the side of a building in East London of a giant dragonfly, which a friend painted. It says “For Rocco” at the bottom and is one of the most amazing things anyone has ever done for us. The story of the water bugs and the dragonflies is a really poignant and important story for us. I was told the story by a priest on the day he died and it gave me a lot of comfort. I have clung on to the symbol of the dragonfly since that day.

We have a memorial leaf in the children’s water bug and dragonfly garden at Mortlake Crematorium, which provides a place for us to go where we feel close to him particularly on the more difficult days and the special days.

 

Samya

On the anniversary of his death, we do something similar. We gather with friends and ask people to do something in his memory. One year, we did “Roc around the Christmas tree” where people sent videos of themselves and their kids dancing around their trees. Another year, we did a toy drive for The Toy Project and another time we asked everyone to make him a Christmas decoration and light candles for him.

Another time, we hosted a number of grottos which we named “Rocco’s Grotto.” We had a Santa and a photographer and people brought gifts to donate to charity.

We also ask people to think of him when they see a beautiful sunrise and I have received hundreds of photographs of sunrises that people have sent me. I have printed off a number of them and framed them so the kids and I can see them everyday. We have set up a special page for remembering him on Instagram and we post everything that people do in his honour.

We also have a Christmas tree just for Rocco. We decorate it with blue lights as the colour blue has become traditionally the colour we associate with him – blue balloons, blue hearts. On the anniversary, the children and their friends decorate his tree with homemade decorations. One Christmas, we had all the kids and their friends make decorations so we have hundreds of blue hearts and stars for his tree.

Rocco matters so much. The amount he continues to achieve and do is a comfort and a positive to come from the absolute worst experience. He is our driving force. He knew only love in his lifetime, and we will continue to share his love to others forever.

 

Samya

Whether you are a grieving young person who wants to talk to someone or a parent, carer or professional looking for guidance, you can reach out to our bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. Nothing is off limits. We’ll listen without judgement and you can chat to us anonymously if you’d prefer. Whether it’s a one-off or a conversation you need to come back to, you can reach us on the different ways listed below.

Get support

Winston’s Wish provides support for grieving children, young people (up to 25) and adults supporting them. Please call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday) or email ask@staging.winstonswish.org  

If you need urgent support, the Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for free, confidential support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258. 

Caroline received the devastating news that her husband, Steve, had died by suicide after he had been missing for two days. It was a complete shock to Caroline and her family, and there had been nothing to make her believe that this would be the outcome when she initially reported him missing.

Their youngest child, Ada, who was just two, was at home. Their eldest, Evie, who was nine, was at school when the police arrived to deliver the shattering news. Caroline had no choice but to make some quick decisions about how to tell the children. Fortunately, her best friend, Emma, offered support. Emma called Winston’s Wish straight away and gathered as much information as possible for Caroline to feel equipped and able to tell her daughters what had happened.

I was stunned by this life-shattering news and clueless about what I needed to do. My children were my absolute priority, but I had no idea what words to use in a situation like this.

 

Caroline

At Winston’s Wish, we encourage clear and direct language when talking about death. Telling each child may be different depending on their level of understanding, and we offer further advice about telling a child someone has died, how to explain suicide to a child or young person, and further suicide bereavement support.

That phone call Emma made to Winston’s Wish on the day Steve went missing would certainly not be the last. Immediate Bereavement Support is a service you can use as much as you need to, and the purpose of the call, email, or chat does not always need to be about something big or complex. It could be a worry about new developments in your child’s grief journey that you would like to chat about or something about their behaviour that might be concerning you. Caroline says she’s extremely grateful for the Winston’s Wish on-demand services and she would regularly call in the first few years to try to understand and cope with changes in her daughters’ grief.

Everything about this situation was new to me. I had so many questions about what to expect when it came to my girls’ grief and how I could support them with it all while managing my own feelings of loss. It wasn’t just Steve’s death we were dealing with, the fact that this was suicide brought about a huge amount of additional challenges for the girls and I too.

 

Caroline

Through Winston’s Wish, Caroline received some little worry dolls for the girls, which she says they were able to whisper their worries to as part of their ‘healing journey’. It was something Caroline remembers as a ‘lighter and brighter moment in the darker days’.

‘Beyond the Rough Rock’ is a book by Winston’s Wish that offers practical advice for families immediately after learning about a death by suicide, which Caroline also received early on. She says this book has been invaluable as her daughters have grown up. Evie has been through emotions and experiences at very different times to her younger sister, Ada.  Having this resource to work through with each of them at different periods of time has been incredibly helpful to Caroline and she says she keeps it close by even now as a source of comfort for whenever she may need it again. You can buy and download the e-book here.

Caroline’s daughters are doing amazing things in their young lives and learning to express their grief in their own individual ways. From writing and playing music to advocating for mental health in their schools, Caroline feels they are able to be so confident in themselves due to the immediate support received from their community, a large part of which came directly from Winston’s Wish. Evie has even won a National Mental Health Award for the work she has been doing which includes sharing her story through a very touching animation about language. You can watch the short video here.

Vocalising my experience gave me the chance to share my truth and open up about how I’d been feeling. I wanted to start a conversation about the language used around suicide, and this animation is helping to start a dialogue around the country, which makes me so proud.

 

Evie

Six years after their family life changed forever, Caroline has published a book called Daddy Blackbird: the true story of a family surviving and thriving after loss by suicide, and you can buy the book on Amazon or reach out to Caroline directly (caroline@daddyblackbird.com) and receive a copy of the book after leaving a donation online for Winston’s Wish.

I wrote Daddy Blackbird to help others understand what life is like when the unthinkable happens and to bring some degree of comfort and relatability to those who find themselves in a similar position, particularly when young children are involved. I also wanted to pass on some of the helpful things I have learnt and to share some of the amazing support I have received too.

 

Caroline

Caroline says Winston’s Wish is so important to her, and she feels closely connected to the charity because of the support she received since the day they discovered Steve had died, and every day she has called the helpline or referred to the resources since.

Whether you are a grieving young person who wants to talk to someone or a parent, carer or professional looking for guidance, you can reach out to our bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. Nothing is off limits. We’ll listen without judgement and you can chat to us anonymously if you’d prefer. Whether it’s a one-off or a conversation you need to come back to, you can reach us on the different ways listed below.

Get support

Winston’s Wish provides support for grieving children, young people (up to 25) and adults supporting them. Please call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday) or email ask@staging.winstonswish.org  

If you need urgent support, the Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for free, confidential support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258. 

Television personality and BBC Race Across the World Winner Alfie Watts will release his debut single, Hopeless Wings, on the 31st of October to raise funds for Winston’s Wish. 

As an ambassador for the UK’s first children and young people’s bereavement charity, Alfie is keen to be a grief advocate for young people as well as raising awareness and funds for Winston’s Wish. 

He says “I feel like it’s important to find creative ways to channel my grief. When you are bereaved, especially at a young age, it can feel like you’ve been dealt a huge blow and are at a considerable disadvantage to your peers but there’s a big piece of me that is keen to try and break that mould and challenge myself along the way.” 

Alfie recently became an ambassador for Winston’s Wish and uses his experience and voice to be an advocate for grieving young people.  

A lot of the time people assume that I’m constantly sitting with my grief and while I can’t deny that it is part of my history.

 

Alfie Watts

“My Mum died when I was 5 and everyday I’m aware of that but I don’t want it to define me. I am keen to try and make something with what I can and if I can use something as creative as music to do that, then I feel like I’ve achieved something and have grown as a person with grief. That’s why I decided to sit down and record my charity single, Hopeless Wings, which will also raise funds for Winston’s Wish for whom I am an ambassador.” 

Alfie recently recorded his single in a studio in Cambridge and filmed the music video whilst on his travels abroad in Norway. The inspiration came whilst filming the BBC hit show Race Across the World which Alfie won along with his friend Owen. “I actually wrote the lyrics for the chorus on a bus when we were filming Race Across the World. The lyrics just naturally flowed, and it felt significant to be feeling my grief even at a time when I was completely distracted by the competition.”  

Alfie recalls, “Spending time writing and recording the song and music video was, at times, incredibly raw because you can’t move away from the lyrics and what you are trying to communicate but it is also a powerful feeling. It’s not always easy for young people to know how to handle their emotions so I’m pleased to have challenged myself to have to express my grief and it felt powerful. 

“Getting into the studio was also such an amazing experience. When you’re facing the microphone and you’re seeing your emotions, your words and the thoughts they carry match with the music, it really brings it home to you what you are there for and that can be incredibly cathartic. Music connects people too so in a way, it helps me to feel connected to the thought of my mum too which felt significant.

“As well as there being a big piece of this which is about my own experiences of grief, I want this to be about other young people who have experienced bereavement in their younger years too. That’s why I decided to bare my nerves and release it publicly as I want to help raise funds for Winston’s Wish who directly support children and young people when their lives are turned upside down by bereavement, like mine was.  

“I want as many young people as possible to know about this special charity and the support that is out there and designed just for them. Obviously, although they offer their instant bereavement support free of charge, each day there are people answering helpline calls and working behind the scenes to provide services to young people, parents, teachers and others who are coping with a bereavement. For me, fundraising is a key part of what I want to do to support the charity so that they can continue to make sure that no child has to grieve alone.” 

Hopeless Wings is Alfie’s debut single and is available from the 31st of October on iTunes and Apple with all proceeds going to Winston’s Wish. Keep an eye on socials for the latest updates!

Winston’s Wish lottery player, Mandy, shares her reasons for playing every week following the support her transgender daughter, Sasha, received when her dad died.

In 2001, Mandy and her family – husband Bob and child Sasha – were travelling in France when their car was hit by a speeding motorcycle. Mandy and Sasha sustained minor injuries, tragically Bob was killed.

The devastation of Bob’s death left Sasha, Mandy and their extended family in shock, not knowing where to turn, until a friend recommended Winston’s Wish after reading an article on the charity.

I was in a terrible state when I spoke to a counsellor called Brenden, who I will forever be grateful to. And following this call, Sasha and were able to access help from Winston’s Wish, which was amazing and helped us both immensely.

Mandy Callard

Throughout their lives, Sasha and Mandy have struggled with both the loss and nature of Bob’s death, especially during Sasha’s teenage years when she struggled with ADHD, dyslexia and bullying. They have returned to Winston’s Wish many times and received support to help Sasha cope with her grief and emotions.

The support over the years inspired Mandy to give back to Winston’s Wish in many ways, including playing our lottery, fundraising and setting up a Tribute Fund in Bob’s name.

Mandy has been playing the Winston’s Wish lottery since it first launched and said,
“I have been lucky to win £1,000 since I signed up and if I won the £25,000 jackpot, I would put some in Bob’s Tribute Fund, give some to Sasha and have a holiday with my now husband, Les, who has been an amazing support for both of us.”

“Because of the invaluable support given to Sasha and me by Winston’s Wish, which I don’t know if I could have coped without, I support them when I can.”

I would encourage people to sign-up to the Winston’s Wish lottery as you will be supporting this amazing charity which is a lifeline to bereaved children and parents.
You never know, you may win the jackpot!

Mandy Callard

Play the Winston’s Wish lottery

Some say it’s better to give than take, we say you can do both! Sign up for the Winston’s Wish lottery for just £1 each week and help raise vital funds to support bereaved children across the UK.

Your £1 could make a HUGE difference while giving you the chance to win £25,000!

Written by Winston’s Wish supporter, Nick

It was nearly 47 years ago, as a 19-year-old, when my life was turned upside down.

At around 4 am, a knock on my door, and two oversized policemen squeezed into my room. After suggesting I sit down, they told me, without much further softening of what was to come, that my parents had died in a car crash.

Grief is a difficult term to understand, it covers so much: denial, shock, loss, loneliness, anger, and managing other peoples’ reactions.

When I was told this at 4 am, I think I just glazed over; of course, you don’t believe it, this can’t really be happening? So, my immediate reaction may have been one of blankness, which the police interpreted as that I was taking it very well, so they left.

As I look back, it’s hard not to feel anger at having to blunder, over decades, through these stages. It is wonderful that organisations like Winston’s Wish are there now to help and support young people through parental loss and grief.

I was at university at the time and received no support, and my method of getting through all this was strongly, and badly, affected by having to manage other people’s expectations. In the 1970s, this was very much a time when you were expected not to show emotion, bottle things up, and ‘carry on’.

As I made my way home, alone, later that day, there was a newspaper billboard outside the rail station. It said, ‘Leeds couple dead in A61 crash.’ 

I remember distinctly thinking, are they talking about my mum and dad? It was only when I returned home and saw my elder brother and sister there with their partners and children, that the loss hit me.

Straight after the funeral, the first signs of having to deal with other peoples’ reactions became evident, when an uncle said I should call him if there was anything I needed and handed me his business card! Needless to say, I never spoke to him again.

The future weeks, months and years to come…

After two weeks I returned to university. Although I would have wanted someone to talk to, the reaction of other people became something that I had to learn to manage. At the time the way to do that seemed to try to block out my parent’s death. That worked during the day, but not at night when trying to sleep.

If I could speak to them now, I would tell them that I miss them, but that things worked out OK.

Initially, I could see people’s embarrassment when they first met me on return, as, understandably, they didn’t know how to deal with me. It became clear very quickly that if I was asked how I was, a simple “OK” was preferred to any attempt to say how I felt.

Over the next 15 – 20 years or so, if the conversation seemed to be moving on to general parent chat (where they lived, what did they do, etc.) I soon realised that if I couldn’t subtly change the subject, I would find an excuse to leave the group, at least for a few minutes for the conversation to move on.

My siblings lived quite some way away and had families of their own, so were distracted and busy with their lives. During university holidays, I always tried to hang around for as long as I could, trying to deflect questions about why I didn’t go home. All I wanted to say, but couldn’t, was that I didn’t have one.

Alongside this was the absolute fear of losing anyone close to me. If there was a knock at the door or a phone call, any later than, say 10 pm, I would just freeze, and my heart rate would surge fearing the worst. It also meant that I resisted ever getting too emotionally close to girlfriends. On a few occasions when this happened, it would hit me like a bullet that I had crossed this line, I typically would just cry myself to sleep at night fearing that there was now someone else I couldn’t bear losing.

As time has gone on, I look back now with feelings of sadness, sometimes anger, that I missed out on knowing my parents as an adult and understanding them much more.

I’m happily married with a family, retired having had a successful career, but there is always that part that wonders what would be different if I had received the right support.

In those days following the funeral, I simply had to get on with life, largely on my own, and there wasn’t any organisation like Winston’s Wish around when I needed them.

I now support Winston’s Wish with a monthly donation so that no child or young person in that situation has to face their grief alone and ‘just get on with life.’

How to get grief support

Winston’s Wish provides support for children, young people up to the age of 25 and adults supporting them.  

You can call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021 (8am-8pm, Monday to Friday), email us on ask@staging.winstonswish.org or use our live chat (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday). Our support workers are here to listen, can offer immediate guidance and resources and tell you what support we can offer and what might be most suitable for you.  

Our Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for urgent support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258.  

Make a donation today

By giving regularly like Nick, you’ll be helping more children and young people have access to support through their grief.

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From the glitz of the Strictly dancefloor to his many appearances on such shows as Have I Got News for You, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and QI, Bill Bailey has been delighting audiences across the UK for decades. He also recently delighted audiences at The Centaur at Cheltenham Racecourse during a special event for Winston’s Wish where he raised a whopping £45,856.48 to help fund our services. 

The laughter launderer and favourite face on our television screens revealed how he first came into contact with Winston’s Wish. Bill commented, “A couple of pals of mine who died had kids who were teenagers. They were going through a tough time. It’s especially hard for kids, I mean it’s never easy for anyone, but for kids, particularly teenagers, it’s very hard because they’re going through lots of other things as well. 

“There didn’t seem to be a huge amount of support around, but this is where Winston’s Wish come in. They provide that support, so that made it feel like this is something I wanted to get involved with! I found out more about the charity and was just knocked out by the work they do!” 

As well as delighting audiences with a performance of his stand-up show ‘En route to normal’ the comedic legend also spent time chatting with Angus, a member of the Winston’s Wish Youth Team about his own bereavement experiences following the death of his mother and fellow comedy star Sean Lock.  

During the interview Bill discussed how he channels his grief through creative writing and how his grief can be triggered at the most unexpected moments, a sentiment shared by Youth Team member Angus. Bill highlighted that, “My friend Sean Lock died and there are times when I just go to text him, I see something funny and think that he’d like that. There’s a location, a piece of music, even a taste and it takes me back.” 

Bill also expressed during the video interview how comedy can have a positive effect on people when they are coping with big emotions. He said, “I’ve often had letters from people who say that they’ve been going through a tough time and they come to a comedy show and they just feel like they’re getting out of themselves. Sometimes it’s good to just have a laugh about something.” 

Watch the interview with Bill and Angus

Winston’s Wish would like to express a special thanks to Bill Bailey for his comedy night and for raising such an incredible figure to support our work.  

Estimates suggest that, each day, more than 100 children in the UK are bereaved of a parent and that figure doesn’t equate how many young people are coping with the death of another significant individual in their lives. We believe that with the right support, at the right time, bereaved young people can go on to lead full and flourishing lives. 

 If you feel inspired to be like Bill and assist Winston’s Wish in giving hope to grieving children then why not look at how you can get involved in fundraising for our charity.

Liam is fulfilling a promise he made to his wife, Emily, before she died and running the London Marathon in April. Winston’s Wish helped Liam to support his young children after Emily died and he chose to raise money for us, along with another charity, Plan International UK, which Liam works for. He tells us more about his motivation, training and fundraising for the London Marathon.

Why did you decide to run the London Marathon?

I made a promise to my wife, Emily, to run the London Marathon. Emily died last July after a short 10-week battle with secondary breast cancer. Emily ran the London Marathon in 2015 so this race has a special resonance for me.

We met in Liberia in West Africa around 2011/12 becoming close friends and ended up as a couple living in London in 2013. We loved London, Emily had a wide circle of friends there already, my good friends now. We bought our first home there, had our first child there so London is a special place with lots of memories for me.

In 2021 we left London to be closer to family in south-west England and settled in Wiltshire in October of that year after the birth of our second child.

You are running to raise money for two charities, Winston’s Wish and Plan International UK – tell us why.

I work for Plan International UK, a global charity which advances children’s rights and equality for girls. Being a development professional and a dad of two young girls, the mission of the charity speaks strongly to me. For example, Plan’s work here in the UK through the #CrimeNotCompliment campaign, its humanitarian response in Eastern Europe and projects like the one I work on – a live-saving nutrition project for pregnant and lactating women and children under 5 in Nigeria – are important contributions to a more just world. Plan International UK has been an incredibly supportive employer since I joined, during Emily’s illness and after she died, so raising funds for Plan feels right to me.

Once I decided to go for the marathon, running for Winston’s Wish as well was an obvious choice too. Supporting bereaved children and their families when they need it most is such a worthy cause. I have called upon Winston’s Wish a couple of times and found their support to be sensitive, compassionate and professional. I was bereaved as a child of twelve when my mum died in a car accident, and I would like as many children as possible and their families to have access to caring and professional support services which Winston’s Wish provide when they need it most. The type of service my family didn’t access all those years ago.

How have you found fundraising?

I am absolutely thrilled with the response to my fundraising, tapping into the kindness and generosity that surrounds us. Emily and I felt that kindness and support when she was ill, and it is still there and growing.

For me, fundraising sits firmly alongside the running. It is a big challenge and a strong motivation. I am naturally an introvert so being the public face of something is not my normal go to. Saying that, the promise I made to Emily drives me on so part of the success I suppose lies in the possibility of creating a lasting and fitting legacy for Emily. She was full of energy and kindness to the very end and a great connector of people.

Emily was a professional fundraiser and part of any fundraising is creating a connection with people and making an ask for support. My family back home in Ireland, Emily’s family here in the UK and our friends and work colleagues have all played their part.

I am organising a running event to mark Emily’s birthday on Saturday 4th March called #Run4EmilyWeekend with friends in Warminster and others around the world joining in virtually. I was really excited when our nursery, Barney Lodge, offered to organise a fundraising event too. They will kick off the weekend with a fun run in our local park in Warminster with the children and parents from the nursery joining in.

How is the training going?

Perhaps ask me this question at the end of March! I am a newbie runner, I struggled to complete a half marathon 10 years ago, ran it with pure stubbornness and by following a pacemaker for the full race.

On the advice of a physio I started with a couch to 5K programme last October, to strengthen my ankle which I broke soon after our wedding in 2019. So I completed that 9-week course with Denise Lewis as my virtual coach – thank you Denise! I would recommend the programme to anyone wanting to try and get out and about more. I have steadily built from that and run three times a week, once during lunch hour, a longer run-on Wednesdays which is a non-working day and, on the weekend, when I have someone over to visit.

I am now in week five of a 16-week programme and the distances are slowly building. The distances grow significantly each week for the next eight with the aim to run for 3 hours and 30 minutes by the end of March – the longest run before race day. The running then tapers off significantly for the remaining three weeks to prepare the body for the final push at the marathon on 23rd April. I have found running in the cold to be okay, running in the teeming rain is tough! So far I look forward to the next run and focus on it, rather than the final run in April which is of course a daunting prospect.

How do you keep motivated?

It goes back to Emily really, keeping that promise to her is so important. Bearing witness to how Emily coped with her primary diagnosis while pregnant in 2021 and her re-occurrence in May of last year drives me on. I know how important the work of Plan UK and Winston’s Wish is to children and their families and that spurs me on.

My eldest daughter is four and she gives me a cuddle before I run each weekend and that helps too. I tell her my fruit pastilles are magic sweets and that’s our secret out, now. The two hundred people (and I hope growing) who have supported my fundraising are a strong motivator, they give me the energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Feeling inspired?

Liam has already raised over £13,000! The first £2,000 are donated to Plan International UK and the rest will be split between Winston’s Wish and Plan International UK. If you wish to, you can donate to Liam’s fundraising page.

If you’ve been inspired to take on a fundraising challenge yourself, visit our Fundraising page to find out more and contact our team on community@staging.winstonswish.org to let us know your plans.

More inspiring fundraisers

Charlotte’s epic trek across New Zealand

Charlotte has taken on the adventure of a lifetime and is trekking 3,000km across New Zealand to raise money for Winston’s Wish and process her own grief.

Ryan’s 12 marathon challenge

Ryan ran 12 marathons in 12 months, on his own with no support to show how much harder things are to overcome when you struggle on your own.

Budding entrepreneur, 11-year-old Isla has raised £1,000 for childhood bereavement charity Winston’s Wish by designing and selling pin badges featuring the different emotions bereaved children might feel. Isla’s mum died from cancer in October 2020 and she wanted to do something to help other children grieving for a parent. Isla and her dad, Dave, tell us more about how she created the pin badges and why she chose to support Winston’s Wish:

Tell us about Isla’s pin badges

Isla wanted to do something to keep herself busy and to help other children going through what she did. She wanted something affordable but visible so decided on a pin badge which she is selling on Etsy with a donation from every sale going to Winston’s Wish. Isla’s auntie has her own business making and selling similar things so she helped guide Isla through it.

The badge is in the shape of a lightning bolt and has a whole range of emoji faces on it representing all the feelings you have after losing a parent… from devastated to sometimes happy and everything in between.

“When I lost my mum in 2020 I wanted to do something to cheer up other children who need a pick-me-up,” said 11-year-old Isla. “Pictured on the badge are all the emotions you might feel day to day… and they are all ok!”

Why did Isla decide to support Winston’s Wish?

A lot of the support that we got before, during and after my wife Amy’s death came from Winston’s Wish. Not long after Amy had been diagnosed with cancer I went out into the hospital car park and called the Winston’s Wish Helpline. The person who answered was a total saviour. She helped me order my thoughts and gave me a plan about how to speak to the kids. Later they also helped with telling them that their mum was not going to get better. We had lots of books and resources in the post too.

So, Winston’s Wish seemed like a perfect choice given the help we got from the charity and the thinking behind the badges – Isla wanting to help other children who have lost their mum or dad.

How have sales been going?

Since we launched the pin badges in February, we have sold 550 pin badges! Isla is donating £1.50 from every badge to Winston’s Wish and she’s sold so many badges (along with other donations)  that she has raised £1,000 for the charity already!

Isla has really enjoyed hearing from children in similar situations to her. She has also enjoyed having a positive distraction to keep her a bit busier too. She is keen now to perhaps design a card for people who want to send something to a child who has lost a parent.