To mark Children’s Grief Awareness Week, which takes place from 18-24 November 2024, we are pleased to share some tips about supporting bereaved children from our friends at the peer support network WAY Widowed and Young…

Keeping lines of communication open is so important. My children were 2 and 8 when their dad died, so I had to manage their grief at different ages and stages over the years.

 

Theresa, WAY Member

Adapt to your child’s needs at every stage. Each age requires unique strategies and understanding, so being flexible and responsive to their development can make a huge difference.

 

Paolo, WAY Member

We need to be led by our children on how they grieve and what they need.

 

Cath, WAY Member

For supporting children, I would say ‘don’t be too hard on yourself.’ It can be so difficult to do just about anything and you end up feeling like you can’t do any of it, or you have moments where you shout at them over something completely meaningless.

It can be easy to be harsh on yourself and this can make you feel even worse than you do already. As long as you keep true to what you feel in your heart for how you are bringing them up and are always there for them when they need to talk, and are honest with them about how you feel, and you apologise for the bad times and relish with them the good times, things will only get stronger between you and them.

 

Gary, WAY Member

I don’t want to miss that moment when one of my boys feels something new in their grief. I want to give opportunities for them to express themselves and I want to be there to give them my support. It isn’t easy but these regular moments, perhaps only once a month, mean the world to me and I believe they do too for my boys, now and for their future.

I have a list of picture books I will read and a related activity that I will take time to do once a month with my boys for our ongoing relationship with their daddy.

 

Emma, WAY Member

After speaking with a peer who had lost their parent as a child, it seemed important for children to meet with others who have lost a parent. My daughter found peer support when she started university and found a grief group, which has really helped her.

 

WAY Member

If people are finding it challenging to find support for their children, it’s worth exploring options through work as some employers offer private counselling or mental health care schemes, which can also extend to dependent children.

 

WAY Member

About WAY

The WAY Widowed and Young community offers a safe space to talk to other people (both with and without children) who understand how it feels to be widowed at a young age.

Click here to see the latest post on WAY from Winston’s Wish.

Find out how WAY can support you at www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Children’s Grief Awareness Week

This year, Children’s Grief Awareness Week will focus on Building Hope to give children and young people the tools and strategies to cope after the death of someone important to them.

Find out more about Children’s Grief Awareness Week below.

Support from Winston’s Wish

Whilst we can’t take away a young person’s loss, we can help you to help them thrive again. From access to a bereavement support worker to articles, activities and grief talks – we can help you support the children and young people in your life.

Navigating the back-to-school routine can be daunting when your child has suffered from a significant bereavement.

To help, our friends at WAY Widowed and Young have shared some helpful tips from their members – offering advice from widowed parents to make the school year a little less stressful for bereaved children and their carers.

One of the most important things is to ensure your child’s new teacher is fully aware of their situation. Sometimes this information isn’t passed forward. The teacher needs to be aware of triggers and how best to comfort your child when they’re struggling.

It’s crucial to recognise that what may appear as behaviour issues could be a child in trauma, expressing feelings they can’t articulate. Having the school fully on your side is key. Regular check-ins with them and knowing their support plan is important. Ensuring your child knows who to turn to and what they can do can help to ease some anxiety.

At home, if bedtime routines have shifted, slowly return to school-time bedtimes over a couple of weeks. Talk about school – what they’re looking forward to, what they are worried about – and keep all avenues of communication open.

If they are interested, involve them in choosing a new bottle or schoolbag. Reconnecting with a school friend over the summer might also make the transition back easier too

Orla, WAY Member

Make sure teachers know the situation. I emailed every year to ensure new staff were aware, especially those who hadn’t previously worked with my children. Highlight important dates, too.

My late partner’s birthday is in June, and the anniversary of his death is in December, which are both exam times. I worried about this, but I explained this to the school every year. I encouraged my girls to do their best, knowing that removing them on these tricky dates wouldn’t help long term.

Most secondary schools have pastoral support staff. Make sure your child knows who that is, or find out which staff member they can go to if they need support. My children had ‘exit’ passes to leave class if they needed time out

Lisa, WAY Member

My son is starting secondary school, so it’s not just a return to school, but a new one. He’s excited, and we talk about it often. I remind him it’s normal to feel nervous and encourage him to talk about his concerns. I also remind him of where he can go if he needs a break.

In primary school, he sometimes cried in class or on the yard, and his friends were amazing. I’ve told him it’s good to express his emotions and not to be afraid of that. Having a place to go to in secondary school if he needs it is very important

Helen, WAY Member

Talk to the school about any issues or concerns, and keep the communication going. Prepare uniforms, stationery, etc. and label everything clearly. I prefer sew-in tags as they don’t fade or fall off. Take advantage of uniform sales. Most importantly, have fun over the summer so your child has stories to share with their friends in September

Sophie, WAY Member

About WAY

The WAY Widowed and Young community offers a safe space to talk to other people (both with and without children) who understand how it feels to be widowed at a young age.

Click here to see the latest post on WAY from Winston’s Wish.

Find out how WAY can support you at www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Supporting a bereaved child or young person at school

As you prepare for the new school year, the child or young person you are supporting may need more support as their routine changes.

We have a number of online resources and support that you can access, including our live chat and helpline where you can speak to a Bereavement Support Worker.

Activities to do before going to secondary school

It’s important for a child to find ways to honour the memory of the person as they move onto secondary school. We have a number of activities that you can do together to create a keepsake for their important person.

Download our free activities to help express feelings of grief.