Rocco’s Godmother, Claudia:

Rocco White was the 4^th baby of my best friend, Samya, and my godson. He was an identical twin with Winston and has an older brother, Otis, and sister, Mila, who were 3 and 5 when Rocco died suddenly on 11^th December 2018, aged 6.5 months. He was the most perfect delicious squidge and such a content baby. He had a little mole on the back of his neck, which is how we could tell the boys apart, and how I knew he was “my one”.

Rocco’s mum, Samya:

Losing Rocco had a huge impact on us as a family. Our other children were so young at the time, so it was hard to know how they were feeling, and I focused my attention pretty much entirely on helping them navigate through it. My main goal was to ensure that they were not negatively impacted and that they would still have a strong and supportive mother to lean on. As I started working through things in therapy, I realised that I needed to spend more time hearing how they were feeling and try to sit in the grief with them. This was so hard as I had spent so long trying to avoid it and go through the motions. When Covid hit shortly after, it was just me and the kids trying to get through each day. It was really hard to watch Winston grow and do things alone without his twin brother. It has always been a fear of mine that he would forever feel like something was missing and that he would be sad. That was really difficult in the beginning and still is today, but I try not to project my own fears onto him because the majority of the time he is doing just fine.

Claudia, Rocco’s Godmother, introduced me to Winston’s Wish. It was so relatable to my situation, having 3 young children, including Rocco’s identical twin, Winston, to navigate through grief, and the fact the charity was called Winston’s Wish made it even more special.

We were looking at ways to continue to do good for Rocco. When we came across this charity supporting bereaved children and saw its name, it was so fitting. We had to support it. For Winston and for Rocco.

 

Samya

Mila, Otis, and Winston were so young when we lost Rocco that it was hard for them to process. On the day he died, Mila asked me, when I came home from the hospital, if Rocco was back. I was still in shock but I had to tell my 5 year old that her baby brother was an angel now. The next day she drew a picture of our family with Rocco as an angel.

We’ve been lucky enough to have the resources to help the kids with therapy, which we started straight away after Rocco died. That was a huge support and everyone in our family still engages in therapy in one way or another.

Winston is always open to hearing about his twin and will randomly ask me, “how did Rocco die again?” just as I’m putting him in the bath or making dinner. He also is very protective of him and refers to him as his twin rather than just his brother. He said that if Rocco was still here he would want him to sleep in the same bed as him.

Otis finds it hard to talk about still. If I’m reading a book to Winny about Rocco or looking at pictures of them Otis often can’t stay in the room. He just finds it too sad. But we don’t stop talking about him in front of him. All of the kids have pictures of Rocco in their room.

About a month ago, Mila came up to me and said, “I’m feeling sad about Rocco.” That was the first time since he died that she ever initiated a conversation about her brother. My own therapy has meant that I’ve been looking at some of his things and I found the picture she drew of him as an angel. It was that that led her to want to talk about him. We looked at photos, read stories, and looked through all the boxes I have with things that belonged to him. I was so proud of her. She said she felt more confident to ask – I think she meant she was starting to feel ok with feeling sad about it. I haven’t seen her want to do that in the last 6 years. It helped me a lot to have her there to support me. It was a really nice moment.

We fundraise for Winston’s Wish every year. We have done sponsored runs and bike rides and always ask for donations on the anniversary of his death.

 

Samya

We relate so much to the charity and recognise how important their work is. We have received so much support from our community and we want to help others to have the same.

We have always wanted to shine a light at Christmas from Rocco. At his funeral, one of the songs we sang was, ‘This Little Light of Mine’. Each year at Christmas we try to help other children because we can’t buy Rocco a gift, as much as we desperately wish we could. So we look for ways for Rocco to make other children have a happier Christmas. The ‘Colour their Christmas’ campaign felt like Rocco’s light would be felt, and light up Christmas for children facing a very difficult time.

We celebrate him every single year on his birthday. We meet up with friends and blow out candles for him on a cake. We always have a theme where we ask our friends and family to show him some love. One year, we asked everyone to make a cake, another we asked for everyone to do an act of kindness in his honour, and another year we did “rocks for Rocco” where we asked everyone to paint rocks with messages on and hide them in places for people to find.

This year, on his birthday, our friends hosted a concert in his honour. They organised a number of singers and musicians together from our local secondary school to raise money for Winston’s Wish and even some of my old school teachers attended.

We even have a giant mural on the side of a building in East London of a giant dragonfly, which a friend painted. It says “For Rocco” at the bottom and is one of the most amazing things anyone has ever done for us. The story of the water bugs and the dragonflies is a really poignant and important story for us. I was told the story by a priest on the day he died and it gave me a lot of comfort. I have clung on to the symbol of the dragonfly since that day.

We have a memorial leaf in the children’s water bug and dragonfly garden at Mortlake Crematorium, which provides a place for us to go where we feel close to him particularly on the more difficult days and the special days.

 

Samya

On the anniversary of his death, we do something similar. We gather with friends and ask people to do something in his memory. One year, we did “Roc around the Christmas tree” where people sent videos of themselves and their kids dancing around their trees. Another year, we did a toy drive for The Toy Project and another time we asked everyone to make him a Christmas decoration and light candles for him.

Another time, we hosted a number of grottos which we named “Rocco’s Grotto.” We had a Santa and a photographer and people brought gifts to donate to charity.

We also ask people to think of him when they see a beautiful sunrise and I have received hundreds of photographs of sunrises that people have sent me. I have printed off a number of them and framed them so the kids and I can see them everyday. We have set up a special page for remembering him on Instagram and we post everything that people do in his honour.

We also have a Christmas tree just for Rocco. We decorate it with blue lights as the colour blue has become traditionally the colour we associate with him – blue balloons, blue hearts. On the anniversary, the children and their friends decorate his tree with homemade decorations. One Christmas, we had all the kids and their friends make decorations so we have hundreds of blue hearts and stars for his tree.

Rocco matters so much. The amount he continues to achieve and do is a comfort and a positive to come from the absolute worst experience. He is our driving force. He knew only love in his lifetime, and we will continue to share his love to others forever.

 

Samya

Whether you are a grieving young person who wants to talk to someone or a parent, carer or professional looking for guidance, you can reach out to our bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. Nothing is off limits. We’ll listen without judgement and you can chat to us anonymously if you’d prefer. Whether it’s a one-off or a conversation you need to come back to, you can reach us on the different ways listed below.

Get support

Winston’s Wish provides support for grieving children, young people (up to 25) and adults supporting them. Please call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday) or email ask@staging.winstonswish.org  

If you need urgent support, the Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for free, confidential support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258. 

Television personality and BBC Race Across the World Winner Alfie Watts will release his debut single, Hopeless Wings, on the 31st of October to raise funds for Winston’s Wish. 

As an ambassador for the UK’s first children and young people’s bereavement charity, Alfie is keen to be a grief advocate for young people as well as raising awareness and funds for Winston’s Wish. 

He says “I feel like it’s important to find creative ways to channel my grief. When you are bereaved, especially at a young age, it can feel like you’ve been dealt a huge blow and are at a considerable disadvantage to your peers but there’s a big piece of me that is keen to try and break that mould and challenge myself along the way.” 

Alfie recently became an ambassador for Winston’s Wish and uses his experience and voice to be an advocate for grieving young people.  

A lot of the time people assume that I’m constantly sitting with my grief and while I can’t deny that it is part of my history.

 

Alfie Watts

“My Mum died when I was 5 and everyday I’m aware of that but I don’t want it to define me. I am keen to try and make something with what I can and if I can use something as creative as music to do that, then I feel like I’ve achieved something and have grown as a person with grief. That’s why I decided to sit down and record my charity single, Hopeless Wings, which will also raise funds for Winston’s Wish for whom I am an ambassador.” 

Alfie recently recorded his single in a studio in Cambridge and filmed the music video whilst on his travels abroad in Norway. The inspiration came whilst filming the BBC hit show Race Across the World which Alfie won along with his friend Owen. “I actually wrote the lyrics for the chorus on a bus when we were filming Race Across the World. The lyrics just naturally flowed, and it felt significant to be feeling my grief even at a time when I was completely distracted by the competition.”  

Alfie recalls, “Spending time writing and recording the song and music video was, at times, incredibly raw because you can’t move away from the lyrics and what you are trying to communicate but it is also a powerful feeling. It’s not always easy for young people to know how to handle their emotions so I’m pleased to have challenged myself to have to express my grief and it felt powerful. 

“Getting into the studio was also such an amazing experience. When you’re facing the microphone and you’re seeing your emotions, your words and the thoughts they carry match with the music, it really brings it home to you what you are there for and that can be incredibly cathartic. Music connects people too so in a way, it helps me to feel connected to the thought of my mum too which felt significant.

“As well as there being a big piece of this which is about my own experiences of grief, I want this to be about other young people who have experienced bereavement in their younger years too. That’s why I decided to bare my nerves and release it publicly as I want to help raise funds for Winston’s Wish who directly support children and young people when their lives are turned upside down by bereavement, like mine was.  

“I want as many young people as possible to know about this special charity and the support that is out there and designed just for them. Obviously, although they offer their instant bereavement support free of charge, each day there are people answering helpline calls and working behind the scenes to provide services to young people, parents, teachers and others who are coping with a bereavement. For me, fundraising is a key part of what I want to do to support the charity so that they can continue to make sure that no child has to grieve alone.” 

Hopeless Wings is Alfie’s debut single and is available from the 31st of October on iTunes and Apple with all proceeds going to Winston’s Wish. Keep an eye on socials for the latest updates!

Winston’s Wish lottery player, Mandy, shares her reasons for playing every week following the support her transgender daughter, Sasha, received when her dad died.

In 2001, Mandy and her family – husband Bob and child Sasha – were travelling in France when their car was hit by a speeding motorcycle. Mandy and Sasha sustained minor injuries, tragically Bob was killed.

The devastation of Bob’s death left Sasha, Mandy and their extended family in shock, not knowing where to turn, until a friend recommended Winston’s Wish after reading an article on the charity.

I was in a terrible state when I spoke to a counsellor called Brenden, who I will forever be grateful to. And following this call, Sasha and were able to access help from Winston’s Wish, which was amazing and helped us both immensely.

Mandy Callard

Throughout their lives, Sasha and Mandy have struggled with both the loss and nature of Bob’s death, especially during Sasha’s teenage years when she struggled with ADHD, dyslexia and bullying. They have returned to Winston’s Wish many times and received support to help Sasha cope with her grief and emotions.

The support over the years inspired Mandy to give back to Winston’s Wish in many ways, including playing our lottery, fundraising and setting up a Tribute Fund in Bob’s name.

Mandy has been playing the Winston’s Wish lottery since it first launched and said,
“I have been lucky to win £1,000 since I signed up and if I won the £25,000 jackpot, I would put some in Bob’s Tribute Fund, give some to Sasha and have a holiday with my now husband, Les, who has been an amazing support for both of us.”

“Because of the invaluable support given to Sasha and me by Winston’s Wish, which I don’t know if I could have coped without, I support them when I can.”

I would encourage people to sign-up to the Winston’s Wish lottery as you will be supporting this amazing charity which is a lifeline to bereaved children and parents.
You never know, you may win the jackpot!

Mandy Callard

Play the Winston’s Wish lottery

Some say it’s better to give than take, we say you can do both! Sign up for the Winston’s Wish lottery for just £1 each week and help raise vital funds to support bereaved children across the UK.

Your £1 could make a HUGE difference while giving you the chance to win £25,000!

We’re calling on the local community to get involved in something different this summer!  

Winston’s Wish is launching Hope 100 from this month and is encouraging local communities, families, friend groups, workplaces or school clubs to challenge themselves to get involved in an activity, from cake sales to sporty challenges, and raise £100 in the process.

This fundraising challenge is based around the thought of the number of children and young people who are bereaved each day.  

Estimates suggest that each day more than 100 young people are bereaved of a parent and that figure doesn’t equate how many are having to navigate the death of a friend, sibling, teacher or another significant person in their lives. Hope 100 serves to highlight the grieving children and young adults in our local community.   

Alongside raising funds, Winston’s Wish is hoping to signpost its services this summer and remind people of the children and young people who are having to navigate the death of somebody significant to them, whether that’s a parent, sibling, friend or somebody else. 

This summer, whilst many schools and social support networks are closing their doors for the holidays, Winston’s Wish will continue to keep its on-demand services open to the children and young people, as well as the adults around them, who are having to cope with their grief. Hope 100 serves to not only ensure that that support can remain open for the young people who need bereavement support but also to remind them that these services are available.  

We love seeing people’s creativity when it comes to getting involved with Hope 100. The summer holidays are a time when many families or groups of children and young people get together to try a new challenge, enjoy time together and make some memories.”

 

Nicki Gerrard, Winston’s Wish Campaigns and Events Manager

Nicki is excited to see people across the region and further afield throughout the UK get involved with this challenge, and went on to say: “We know that many of our incredible supporters come together because they themselves have suffered a bereavement or they know of somebody in their local community, whether that’s at the school gates, in their exercise classes or from their social circle, who are supporting a child or young person with their bereavement. Throughout the summer holidays, we are inspired to see and hear lots of people joining together to and using creative methods to raise funds for Winston’s Wish. 

“We’re hoping that as many people as possible can hear about this challenge, especially as it raises awareness and enables us to keep the on-demand services open throughout the summer holidays and the rest of the year. We recognise that many young people themselves make use of these on-demand services to get instant grief support because of a change in routine, back-to-school worries or feeling different to their peers because of their bereavement. Many concerned adults also reach out to us for support and advice, and we know how important it is to have that instant response when young people need us the most.” 

Register your place as an individual or group on our website and kickstart your Hope 100 challenge!

Once registered, you’ll receive a special fundraising pack to help with raising money for the sponsored challenge. Don’t forget to share your activities on social media using the hashtag #MyHope100 and inspire others. 

It is not every day that somebody decides they are going to take on the challenge of completing an IronMan and yet this September will see Peter McGahan take part in his second IronMan.

Peter explains his own personal connection to the charity’s cause and what motivates him to get involved in such a challenging activity as the IronMan. He says, “As an early adult, when I was 19, I lost my Dad in a car crash and looking back now, I really do wish I had the support that Winston’s Wish provides to children and young people. Its only later on in life I reflected on some of these issues. I think its super important to have this support and help available as it can really shape someone’s perspective in their life.

“The first time I took place in an IronMan for Winston’s Wish was a challenge amongst my two friends. We all chose charities that were close to our heart for personal reasons but after this I for sure got the bug. I remember a moment after finishing my last race that I had to do it again! This wasn’t just from the buzz of finishing but also to help the charity more and more.”

My personal connection was a huge motivational factor the last IronMan I raced in for Winston’s Wish.

 

Peter McGahan

Winston’s Wish relies upon voluntary donations for 90% of its income and is grateful to the army of supporters, from individuals to groups, who come together to help ensure the support is readily available to grieving children and their families.

Peter is keenly into his fitness. He says, “Physically I need to plan week by week with timings as currently my programme is training up to 12 hours a week, for this I have help from my coach who helps me plan my sessions over the last 40 weeks. But mentally I have to pre plan my social and work life more than ever. But also using Winston’s Wish as a motivating factor has been a huge push for me, especially when it’s cold and raining and the last thing you want to do is run!

“I currently work for Adidas and I’m based over in Germany and in all honesty this has been amazing for my prep. We have amazing facilities like a swimming pool, track and state of the art gym. Not only this I work with like-minded people who have similar goals so if that’s running with the track group, or training with people day to day has been amazing.

“Throughout my prep for the season, I have had amazing support from my team asking how I’m getting on, asking how I’m feeling and giving me the time to be able to train in an unreal environment. I have a really strong team with heavy team work ethic so that has been game changing for this preparation. Not only that but the thought that I can help young people in a bit of a stuck situation really motivates me.

“As I prepare for the IronMan, I am reminded of the children and young people across the UK who have lost someone significant to them. It’s a pain that no one should ever have to endure, especially at such a young age. My goal is to raise £5,000 for Winston’s Wish before the big race in September.”

If you would like to support Peter in his IronMan endeavour then don’t forget to follow his progress on his Just Giving page.

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Join #TeamWinston!

Put yourself to the test by taking on a running, cycling, walking or swimming event in support of Winston’s Wish.

There are so many challenges for you to get involved with. Simply head over to our events page to find the perfect one for you.

Become a cheer point volunteer!

Sports not your thing? Not to worry, you can still make a HUGE difference by becoming a cheer point volunteer to give momentum to our challengers.

It’s a fantastic opportunity to embrace the event atmosphere, meet the team and give our fundraisers a boost on there challenge.

As Reassured commemorates its 15th anniversary, we are thrilled to announce that they have chosen Winston’s Wish as their first annual charity partner. In a remarkable start, they have already raised an incredible £8,000 at their milestone celebration event.

Their dedication to charity is evident this year with the launch of a dedicated charity committee, passionately leading fundraising events and championing Winston’s Wish alongside smaller local charities. This partnership promises to make a significant impact, and we are deeply grateful for their support.

At Reassured, we feel a close affinity to the work carried out by Winston’s Wish. We know through our own work in the life insurance market how devastating the loss of a loved one can be for our customers and we are proud that by putting the right cover in place we can at least help alleviate some of the financial stress such a situation causes.

Phil Jeynes, Director of Corporate Strategy at Reassured

Phil went on to say: “Because of the emotional nature of our line of business and the many tragic examples we see of families being affected by illness and death, charity and fund raising has always been prevalent at Reassured. In the past our staff have run, baked, fancy dressed, collected easter eggs, given to food banks and much more to aid worthy causes close to their hearts. Last year, policies arranged by Reassured paid out over £50m to families suffering a bereavement or the diagnosis of a critical illness.

We were extremely moved by the case studies the charity shared with us (which we showed the entire business during our recent company update meeting), showing just how life changing its support has been for so many young people enduring their toughest challenge.”

Reassured exists to help customers cope with extremely difficult circumstances, such as the loss of a loved one. It is terrible to think of the impact the death of a parent must have on a child so to be able to support Winston’s Wish in their efforts to help bereaved children is an honour. I am sure our fantastic, caring staff will rally behind this cause as they have done for many others in the past

Mark Townsend, CEO at Reassured

We’re incredibly excited to be named as Reassured’s first formal charity partner as part of their special anniversary year. There is a perfect fit between our vision and the bold ambitions of Reassured and we look forward to working together to bring hope to grieving children and young people.

Paul Moore, Director of Fundraising at Winston’s Wish

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Become a Corporate Supporter

Help us give hope to grieving children by becoming a corporate supporter.

Whether it’s making us your company’s Charity of the Year, encouraging your staff to fundraise or embarking on an innovative CRM campaign, we will work with you every step of the way.

Volunteer for Winston’s Wish!

Do something amazing by becoming a volunteer!

It’s a fantastic opportunity for your organisation to make a real difference, whether that be championing Winston’s Wish within your company or cheering on our supporters at events, we’d love to have you on board.

Written by Winston’s Wish supporter, Nick

It was nearly 47 years ago, as a 19-year-old, when my life was turned upside down.

At around 4 am, a knock on my door, and two oversized policemen squeezed into my room. After suggesting I sit down, they told me, without much further softening of what was to come, that my parents had died in a car crash.

Grief is a difficult term to understand, it covers so much: denial, shock, loss, loneliness, anger, and managing other peoples’ reactions.

When I was told this at 4 am, I think I just glazed over; of course, you don’t believe it, this can’t really be happening? So, my immediate reaction may have been one of blankness, which the police interpreted as that I was taking it very well, so they left.

As I look back, it’s hard not to feel anger at having to blunder, over decades, through these stages. It is wonderful that organisations like Winston’s Wish are there now to help and support young people through parental loss and grief.

I was at university at the time and received no support, and my method of getting through all this was strongly, and badly, affected by having to manage other people’s expectations. In the 1970s, this was very much a time when you were expected not to show emotion, bottle things up, and ‘carry on’.

As I made my way home, alone, later that day, there was a newspaper billboard outside the rail station. It said, ‘Leeds couple dead in A61 crash.’ 

I remember distinctly thinking, are they talking about my mum and dad? It was only when I returned home and saw my elder brother and sister there with their partners and children, that the loss hit me.

Straight after the funeral, the first signs of having to deal with other peoples’ reactions became evident, when an uncle said I should call him if there was anything I needed and handed me his business card! Needless to say, I never spoke to him again.

The future weeks, months and years to come…

After two weeks I returned to university. Although I would have wanted someone to talk to, the reaction of other people became something that I had to learn to manage. At the time the way to do that seemed to try to block out my parent’s death. That worked during the day, but not at night when trying to sleep.

If I could speak to them now, I would tell them that I miss them, but that things worked out OK.

Initially, I could see people’s embarrassment when they first met me on return, as, understandably, they didn’t know how to deal with me. It became clear very quickly that if I was asked how I was, a simple “OK” was preferred to any attempt to say how I felt.

Over the next 15 – 20 years or so, if the conversation seemed to be moving on to general parent chat (where they lived, what did they do, etc.) I soon realised that if I couldn’t subtly change the subject, I would find an excuse to leave the group, at least for a few minutes for the conversation to move on.

My siblings lived quite some way away and had families of their own, so were distracted and busy with their lives. During university holidays, I always tried to hang around for as long as I could, trying to deflect questions about why I didn’t go home. All I wanted to say, but couldn’t, was that I didn’t have one.

Alongside this was the absolute fear of losing anyone close to me. If there was a knock at the door or a phone call, any later than, say 10 pm, I would just freeze, and my heart rate would surge fearing the worst. It also meant that I resisted ever getting too emotionally close to girlfriends. On a few occasions when this happened, it would hit me like a bullet that I had crossed this line, I typically would just cry myself to sleep at night fearing that there was now someone else I couldn’t bear losing.

As time has gone on, I look back now with feelings of sadness, sometimes anger, that I missed out on knowing my parents as an adult and understanding them much more.

I’m happily married with a family, retired having had a successful career, but there is always that part that wonders what would be different if I had received the right support.

In those days following the funeral, I simply had to get on with life, largely on my own, and there wasn’t any organisation like Winston’s Wish around when I needed them.

I now support Winston’s Wish with a monthly donation so that no child or young person in that situation has to face their grief alone and ‘just get on with life.’

How to get grief support

Winston’s Wish provides support for children, young people up to the age of 25 and adults supporting them.  

You can call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021 (8am-8pm, Monday to Friday), email us on ask@staging.winstonswish.org or use our live chat (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday). Our support workers are here to listen, can offer immediate guidance and resources and tell you what support we can offer and what might be most suitable for you.  

Our Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for urgent support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258.  

Make a donation today

By giving regularly like Nick, you’ll be helping more children and young people have access to support through their grief.

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Winston’s Wish is delighted to announce that we have been made the Cheltenham Running Festival’s official partner for 2024! 

Each year the Cheltenham Running Festival, hosted at the Cheltenham Racecourse, extends the opportunity for marathon masters or novices to join the champions and run the distance of 5K, 10K or half marathon for charity.   

This year Winston’s Wish has been chosen as the official partner for this special running event which will be held on Sunday the 16th of June – a date that many recognise as Father’s Day.

This year’s event is especially poignant as many will recognise the 16th of June as Father’s Day. Many of the children and young people we support are bereaved of their fathers and so this day will not only stand as a powerful reminder for all those who are grieving the death of their dads but especially as a uniting moment for those who come together to help us support them.

Kerry Waite, Sporting and Challenge Events Officer

Participants have until the 6th of June to register, and the minimum sponsorship fee starts from £125 for the 5K distance plus a nominal £10.40 booking fee. To find out more information including how you can register, don’t forget to have a look at the dedicated Cheltenham Running Festival page under the Events section of the Winston’s Wish website.  

Whether you are an avid marathon runner looking to take on the opportunity of running in different surroundings, fancy a new fitness goal or want to take part with your friends and colleagues, then why not register for Cheltenham Running Festival this June? 

With your kind support, Winston’s Wish can continue to give hope to grieving children and young people across the UK.

Kerry Waite, the Sporting & Challenge Events Officer also commented, “We are delighted to be joining with the Cheltenham Running Festival as their official partner this year. We know that runners from far and wide love the opportunity to come together to run at the Cheltenham Racecourse and gain rare access to a very special venue in the Cotswolds.  

“Many of those who also chose to run under the Winston’s Wish banner are champions of our cause too – we as a charity provide direct support and give hope to grieving young people and it’s amazing to see so many people join our community and help us to continue providing the right support at the right time for these bereaved children and young adults. We look forward to seeing lots of people wave the Winston’s Wish flag this Father’s Day.” 

Matt Wood, Co-Founder of RunThrough, commented “It is fantastic for RunThrough to be partnering with Winston’s Wish as our Charity of the Year for Cheltenham Running Festival. Winston’s Wish does incredible work supporting grieving children and their families, providing them with the help and guidance they need during challenging times. As a community-focused organisation, we believe in the power of running to make a positive impact, and we are thrilled to contribute to Winston’s Wish’s vital mission.” 

On your marks, get set…GO! Join the hottest running festival for 2024 and make your mark on the iconic Cheltenham Racecourse this June, all while helping bereaved young people find their feet when their worlds are turned upside down by grief. 

Liam is fulfilling a promise he made to his wife, Emily, before she died and running the London Marathon in April. Winston’s Wish helped Liam to support his young children after Emily died and he chose to raise money for us, along with another charity, Plan International UK, which Liam works for. He tells us more about his motivation, training and fundraising for the London Marathon.

Why did you decide to run the London Marathon?

I made a promise to my wife, Emily, to run the London Marathon. Emily died last July after a short 10-week battle with secondary breast cancer. Emily ran the London Marathon in 2015 so this race has a special resonance for me.

We met in Liberia in West Africa around 2011/12 becoming close friends and ended up as a couple living in London in 2013. We loved London, Emily had a wide circle of friends there already, my good friends now. We bought our first home there, had our first child there so London is a special place with lots of memories for me.

In 2021 we left London to be closer to family in south-west England and settled in Wiltshire in October of that year after the birth of our second child.

You are running to raise money for two charities, Winston’s Wish and Plan International UK – tell us why.

I work for Plan International UK, a global charity which advances children’s rights and equality for girls. Being a development professional and a dad of two young girls, the mission of the charity speaks strongly to me. For example, Plan’s work here in the UK through the #CrimeNotCompliment campaign, its humanitarian response in Eastern Europe and projects like the one I work on – a live-saving nutrition project for pregnant and lactating women and children under 5 in Nigeria – are important contributions to a more just world. Plan International UK has been an incredibly supportive employer since I joined, during Emily’s illness and after she died, so raising funds for Plan feels right to me.

Once I decided to go for the marathon, running for Winston’s Wish as well was an obvious choice too. Supporting bereaved children and their families when they need it most is such a worthy cause. I have called upon Winston’s Wish a couple of times and found their support to be sensitive, compassionate and professional. I was bereaved as a child of twelve when my mum died in a car accident, and I would like as many children as possible and their families to have access to caring and professional support services which Winston’s Wish provide when they need it most. The type of service my family didn’t access all those years ago.

How have you found fundraising?

I am absolutely thrilled with the response to my fundraising, tapping into the kindness and generosity that surrounds us. Emily and I felt that kindness and support when she was ill, and it is still there and growing.

For me, fundraising sits firmly alongside the running. It is a big challenge and a strong motivation. I am naturally an introvert so being the public face of something is not my normal go to. Saying that, the promise I made to Emily drives me on so part of the success I suppose lies in the possibility of creating a lasting and fitting legacy for Emily. She was full of energy and kindness to the very end and a great connector of people.

Emily was a professional fundraiser and part of any fundraising is creating a connection with people and making an ask for support. My family back home in Ireland, Emily’s family here in the UK and our friends and work colleagues have all played their part.

I am organising a running event to mark Emily’s birthday on Saturday 4th March called #Run4EmilyWeekend with friends in Warminster and others around the world joining in virtually. I was really excited when our nursery, Barney Lodge, offered to organise a fundraising event too. They will kick off the weekend with a fun run in our local park in Warminster with the children and parents from the nursery joining in.

How is the training going?

Perhaps ask me this question at the end of March! I am a newbie runner, I struggled to complete a half marathon 10 years ago, ran it with pure stubbornness and by following a pacemaker for the full race.

On the advice of a physio I started with a couch to 5K programme last October, to strengthen my ankle which I broke soon after our wedding in 2019. So I completed that 9-week course with Denise Lewis as my virtual coach – thank you Denise! I would recommend the programme to anyone wanting to try and get out and about more. I have steadily built from that and run three times a week, once during lunch hour, a longer run-on Wednesdays which is a non-working day and, on the weekend, when I have someone over to visit.

I am now in week five of a 16-week programme and the distances are slowly building. The distances grow significantly each week for the next eight with the aim to run for 3 hours and 30 minutes by the end of March – the longest run before race day. The running then tapers off significantly for the remaining three weeks to prepare the body for the final push at the marathon on 23rd April. I have found running in the cold to be okay, running in the teeming rain is tough! So far I look forward to the next run and focus on it, rather than the final run in April which is of course a daunting prospect.

How do you keep motivated?

It goes back to Emily really, keeping that promise to her is so important. Bearing witness to how Emily coped with her primary diagnosis while pregnant in 2021 and her re-occurrence in May of last year drives me on. I know how important the work of Plan UK and Winston’s Wish is to children and their families and that spurs me on.

My eldest daughter is four and she gives me a cuddle before I run each weekend and that helps too. I tell her my fruit pastilles are magic sweets and that’s our secret out, now. The two hundred people (and I hope growing) who have supported my fundraising are a strong motivator, they give me the energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Feeling inspired?

Liam has already raised over £13,000! The first £2,000 are donated to Plan International UK and the rest will be split between Winston’s Wish and Plan International UK. If you wish to, you can donate to Liam’s fundraising page.

If you’ve been inspired to take on a fundraising challenge yourself, visit our Fundraising page to find out more and contact our team on community@staging.winstonswish.org to let us know your plans.

More inspiring fundraisers

Charlotte’s epic trek across New Zealand

Charlotte has taken on the adventure of a lifetime and is trekking 3,000km across New Zealand to raise money for Winston’s Wish and process her own grief.

Ryan’s 12 marathon challenge

Ryan ran 12 marathons in 12 months, on his own with no support to show how much harder things are to overcome when you struggle on your own.